Being a mom has to be one of the most hardest most rewarding job in the world.
One of the best things in my life is when my children talk to be about life and how they are doing in that walk that Christ has designed for them....
During a conversation with my daughter yesterday I began to see that a previous valley I had gone through in my life was becoming a reality for my precious daughter....knowing the hurt and pain she was feeling made me very sad but also I was glad I could relate to her and I could offer her some Godly experienced advice on the topic..
How do you handle a negative friend in Christ who is always making you feel "less than", "imperfect", "unworthy", "convicted", "like a loser", "you are doing that wrong", "If you had time for that thing then you should have had time for God" And the list goes on and on...... etc????? How do you handle it without getting angry?
Wow!!! Been there and done that! In my mind I was thinking that I wanted to be very careful how I answered her not to give her anything but the "Walking in Love" speech....
I told her we all have occasions that require dealing with our friends in a very loving manner...There are two categories of friends: those who believe in Jesus as their Lord and Savior and those who do not. These two types of friends require different approaches. The Bible does tell us how to handle both kinds.
Negative people tend to focus on others’ faults (or their own faults). They may regularly point out shortcomings with their comments, attitudes, and frowns. Negative people will approach situations from a pessimistic viewpoint, assuming the worst in any given situation. Sometimes negative people disguise their negativity by using humor or sarcasm, but it still ultimately results in us being hurt or feeling put down.
In dealing with negative people, we turn to Matthew 18: 15-17. That passage clearly lays out the progression of how fellow Christians should deal with each other in regard to sin. A negative, fault-finding, bitter attitude is a sin; Israel sinned against God in the wilderness by complaining about their circumstances in Numbers 11: 1.... You have a responsibility as a brother or sister in Christ to lovingly “point out their fault or how they are making you feel....just between the two of you”. Again, this is a responsibility all believers have to each other. So I told my daughter some good things she could say to this person to let them know what they are doing to her.....
First, humility is so crucial, and your perspective is so critical to handling the person how Jesus would. Try not to view the person as a “negative friend” but rather as a creation of God who is caught in a sinful habit. He still deserves your respect, attention, and love. Do not violate his dignity—no matter how aggravating he is or has been. Before approaching the person, try to determine, through prayer asking God if you have a “plank in your own eye” Matthew 7:3.
I told my daughter this will help her walk in love toward the negative person and handle the issue in a loving way. Confronting someone will be much easier once her “eye” is clear... Additionally, there may be something in her—an attitude, an assumption, etc.—making it harder for her to deal with negative people. Once you have given that to God, dealing with negativity may become easier. (Man O man I have been here before)
Next, I reminded her that it’s important to pray for the negative friend that is making her feel horrible. Pray for wisdom and for God to reveal to her what to do next. Then as soon as she has dealt with these things she must be tactful in how she approaches her friend....Meekness is part of wisdom James 3:13.......I also reminded her that doing it this way may not play out the way she would hope because we cant always help how people will react to such a conversation but doing what is right will help her feel better and God would be pleased with her taking this type of approach. And if this person is a real friend they will understand that you are only coming to them in love and if they don't understand that it may be good to limit her contact with this person if possible and ask God for wisdom.... James 1:5
Today I am praying for my beautiful daughter to seek God in this situation and praying that God will guide her through this tough time. Her heart is always full of love and I am so thankful for that... :)
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